I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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