the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
