The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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