im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
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He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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