The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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