Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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