Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
