I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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