i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
