why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
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I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
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After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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