remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This is classic penis vs brain.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
