I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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