You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
