$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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