I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
