Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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