oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
