Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
