I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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