I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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