I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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