Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
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