Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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