so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
