I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
