I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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