I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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