like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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