I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
