'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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