If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
