ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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