so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
