I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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