We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
