I just threw up on my dentist
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
