i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
