So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
