i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Randomize
