I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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