im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Life is so much better after having sex.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
