Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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