so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
This is my gift to your gina
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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