Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
