Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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