Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
