Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This is not my ceiling
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
