I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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