He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
