the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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