Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
