I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
