he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize