Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize