Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I look excited, but its just a facade.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
