I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
