Fuck appropriateness.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Randomize
