he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
