operation have a gay friend backfired
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
